Apart, With and Without
by CerberusProject
Summary: A look at a possible continuation after the game's end. Edge receives a message from someone he never thought he'd see again. He returns to Lemuris for the surprise of his life. Edge/Faize. m-preg mentioned and elaborated upon in later chapters. Plz R&R Update.
1. Chapter 1: With and Without

A look at what could have happened after the end of Star Ocean: The Last Hope if one takes the Faize ending as a sign Faize was still alive after his defeat and fall inside Nox Obscures (Baroque Dark). This contains continuations from small snippets of story arc hinted at and given at the end of the game and a few liberties have been taken, especially in the Faize department. Anything in this fiction of Faize's gender is not cannon and is only played upon as an experiment for writing purposes.

Edge/Faize pair, a deep look at their relationship on the mission and after. Mentions of m-preg, m-preg in later chapters, homosexuality that isn't really homosexuality, racial views and military problems. Mentions of character death, near death and a small look into Faize's mental instability. Original Character, latent Grigori influence effect and post game depression.

Now that the warnings are out of the way, please enjoy and give a critique if you have time.

~The writers; Homunculus and Adelei

* * *

Peaceful times had found Earth once again. A year had passed since his return from his first mission, or rather an extension of. What began as an exploration expedition into deep space to find a new home ended in a desperate struggle to save the universe. It was not what he expected, and certainly not what he had hoped for, but a few good things came from it. The USTA acknowledged that their ways of exploration were flawed, as they adversely affected other populations, and thus were able to put in place regulations for this exploration. It also aided the Eldarians in finding a new home world, while the people of Earth decided to focus on cleaning up and making their own world livable again, as well as building a more permanent base orbiting the Earth and repairing the damaged one on the moon while they continued to

The advances were not without sacrifice, however. Many had died in the battle against the Grigori; almost the entire population of Eldar was massacred, and the Cardianon were now completely extinct. Countless civilian casualties from not only the people of Earth, but EN II and Eldar were lost in the fray. It was these tragedies and the emergence of the Grigori that lead Edge to suggest the new laws and regulations.

Yet even with his honors and new, much more peaceful position as courier, Edge still could not rest easy at night, for he had lost something that mattered more than anything else, and that person still haunted him.

Faize, still so green, still so eager to please, had put forth his best effort to help Edge, stay by his side, yet he had been failed by the very person he considered so dear.

When he was alone, he would often think back to their time together. He could remember the day that Faize came to him, apologizing for bringing up his father. Edge shrugged it off, explaining that he did not have to feel sorry, because he was not alone. Yet, he soon discovered, Faize did not have such kind circumstances. The boy, for all his comrades, lacked a family, lacked the kinship a family would bring. It was then that Edge decided to show him what a family was like.

The times they sparred were fueled by not only excitement, but something else. The rush of battle was different than the times he would fight with Crowe. They would both go until they were exhausted, laying on the floor as they caught their breath. He even remembered their first kiss, laying side by side in a sweaty heap, only inches apart, when Edge made his move, drawn in by his pale skin and plump lips.

It only escalated from there. Edge showed Faize the wonders of having a lover, a partner, yet for all their affections they shared, they were only able to share one night together. It was before the mishap on alternate Earth, before Edge lost the confidence he needed to lead, and Reimi took up the lead. If only he had kept his head, maybe he would have notice Faize's mental health declining as well, how he took his anger and sadness out on the monsters they fought, how he cried when he thought no one was looking... The boy's pride did him in, but no more than Edge's stupidity.

That day on Nox Obscurus, the battle they fought... He could not go a night without thinking of what he could have done different in the events leading up to Faize's demise. Faize, whom in his darkest hour did not know who to reach out to when even Edge focused on his own shortcomings. If only he had seen through those thin walls the boy had put up, if only he had reached out to him, asked if he needed anything, wanted to talk, wanted a hug, to be held, comforted...

Perhaps then, he would not have reached out to the Grigori for relief.

When his thoughts were darkest, Edge had to stop and remind himself that Faize was not gone, simply far away. When Nox Obscurus collapsed around him, Edge had stayed behind to do what he should have done all along; save Faize. With broken bodies they inched along, Faize talking as if it was the end, but Edge was determined not to let that happen. The world was literally collapsing beneath them, yet all he could do was apologize for being a fool, not being stronger.

Then, the moment when Faize smiled as he let go, Edge could remember vividly the anguish that filled him. After everything, he couldn't even save this one person... The ground crumbled, and he fell.

But in the end... It was Faize that had saved him.

The two, falling into the abyss, were scooped up by Faize's vessel, Sol. Wounded in body and soul, it seemed that Edge's willingness to sacrifice his own life to make sure Faize made it out was enough to keep him going, and together they escaped the imploding planet.

Edge was dropped where he would be seen and Faize disappeared, knowing he could not simply walk among the people he tried to destroy. Edge tried to coax him to stay, but he knew it was nigh impossible to convince him. Faize needed time alone, this time to collect his thoughts; but not without Edge giving him a kiss, a promise that this was not the end, that he would seek him out when the time was right, and most of all, an apology for his actions and inactions.

One year had passed... And for however much Edge tried to move on, he still thought of that Eldarian that made and destroyed his world in less than a few months.

June, SD 11

Edge had settled down in his quarters for the evening, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his uniform on the peg near the door. Another supply mission to Aeos, completed, and more to come. It was monotonous, but with no further explorations planned as of yet, it was the only way he could get onto a ship without stowing away. At least Aeos was always warm, and during downtime he could hone his skills on the local fauna.

The missions did little to quell his wanderlust, and he often considered simply renting a ship from the hangar just to go exploring again. But he knew that was not an option, especially with the UP3 laws in full effect. To find out the suggestee of these regulations were to break them simply to cure his cabin fever...

He had barely enough time to dress down for the evening when there was a knock on his door. "Coming!" He called, quickly moving to unlock the sliding mechanism. Before him stood one of his comrades, one of the few that survived the attack on Aeos. "Hey, Van. What's up? Don't tell me there's a new assignment already..."

The man shook his head, though he did look just a tad worn himself. "No, thankfully, but I have a message for you... Or, well... I think it's for you." He handed over a diskette, the LED showing a ship callsign: ELDR-003-SOL. Edge sucked in a breath, taking the diskette from Van's hand. "This is..."

"We received a radio communication from the Musca quandrant... The area of Gliese 437, actually." Van crossed his arms, appearing slightly bewildered. "It's gibberish and filled with interference. Whatever equipment they're using must be damaged. None of the lingual units could decipher it readily, except for one thing..."

Edge finally looked up from the display, blinking at Van. "And that is?"

"Edge."

Without explanation, Edge hurried to his bed, dropping to his knees in front of it to pull out the drawers where his belongings were stowed. At the very back was a combination locked box, which he quickly disarmed. Within it was a few pieces of old gear, all in disrepair, but kept for a rainy day. Among them was a small device that he once wore on his wrist on a daily basis. He brought it over to his desk, plugging in the diskette while he booted the device.

"Whoa, is that one of the old translation modules? I thought the USTA confiscated those!"

"They did." Edge stated plainly, configuring the unit to the desired language. The diskette played, and it was just as Van had said; static, with mentions of his name, but it was not who he expected in the feed. What he had hoped to hear was his lost friend, giving good tidings, but on the Eldarian setting, it remained indiscernible. But... "Lym...?" Edge quickly adjusted the settings once he recognized the owner of the voice. It was a little deeper than he remembered, but it had to be her!

The module was adjusted to Lemurisian, and then the message became clear.

"...Ei-tan? Ohh... I can't see into this little box...!" Static filled the message, only to crackle back into audible quality a moment later. "Never mind...! Ei-tan, come out of the box! Faize is a big dummy and won't call you himself, but they need you! He and F-" more static, then the sound of something wooden striking metal, likely Lymle's staff hitting the console out of frustration, "Ohhh this box just blinks! I hope he comes..."

Edge sat back in his chair, staring at his console in awe. Lymle had contacted him using Sol's communication system. How, he was not sure, but the message was clear; Faize needed him.

Edge was up and throwing on proper attire as if his rear had been lit aflame by the news. "What's up, Edge? What did the message say?"

"I have to go." He answered quickly, digging into his trunk again for essential supplies; his sword, berries, map modules for his communicator...

"Go? Go where?" Alarmed, Van watched Edge pull more and more confiscated equipment from his drawer, packing it up before rushing for the door. "You're not going to Musca, are you?"

"No."

"Then where?"

Edge stopped short; he couldn't simply borrow a ship to go to an underdeveloped planet, even if it was they were on familiar terms with. The USTA wouldn't allow it... But perhaps Commander Kenny would. "I'll explain when I get back. I have to help them!"

"That girl on the tape? What is this, Star Wars? You're not Luke Skywalker, man!"

Edge didn't answer, instead he continued down the hall. He didn't care what it took, he was going to get to Lemuris. He didn't care what it took, "I let him down before, I won't let him down again!"

"What did I just say?! H-hey, Edge!" Van watched him disappear down the hall, wondering what he just witnessed and if he was in danger of getting court-marshaled for it.

It took him a week to arrive on the snowy planet of Lemuris.

It was only because of his good graces wit Commander Kenny that he was allowed to even go. He offered him use of a private vessel and clearance to leave, if only he agreed to not violate the UP3, and keep contact to an absolute minimum. Violation could lead to jail time, so Edge needed to be especially careful, considering his rank.

The cloaking device allowed him to land the small craft unnoticed in the woods outside the sleepy village that Lymle called home. No sooner had he entered the gate did he spot Lutea, whom rushed inside to call for Lymle. "Ei-tan!" The child shout, running at full speed to hug her friend. She had grown at least a foot since he last saw her, likely because she had finally moved past her growth-stunting mental barriers. His arms wrapped around the child's shoulders... No, she was never a child, was she? She must have been sixteen at least by now... The embrace returned, she looked up at him, tears brimming at the edges of her eyes. "What took you so long? I told Faize's box to find you weeks ago!"

"Weeks?" Had it been that long? At first Edge thought it was the USTA trying to keep the broadcast from him, but then he realize just how far he was away from Earth, and how long it would have taken a week-signaled broadcast to arrive. He shook his head, sighing, "I'm sorry. I came as soon as I heard... But... Faize, is here?" Edge asked, hopeful. He had not heard from him since, and had long thought the boy gone from his life. It would make sense that he would go to Lemuris, however, where his people now resided.

Lymle nodded, looking all the more worried for her friends. "He came here almost six moons ago... He was sick, but Lutie and I are good healers. We took care of him."

Edge breathed a sigh of relief; Faize was alive and well, or so he assumed. "Thank you for taking care of him, Lym." He reached to pat her hair, which was still in her trademark pigtails. She giggled, blushing ever so slightly, "Lutie taught me all she knows. Now I teach the littler kids, 'kay!" But the smile quickly faded, and she took on an air of seriousness that reminded Edge of her old self, "But that's not why I called you. Faize is really sad and won't leave his house... Lutie and I visit, but he won't talk to us anymore!"

Somehow Edge wasn't surprised to hear that of Faize; the boy had a habit of bottling up his feelings and hiding away when he was troubled. A poor habit for someone dealing with so much at once, but that was just how the boy was. "Lym, can you take me to him?"

Lymle slowly shook her head, shuffling her feet. "Faize doesn't know I called you. He'll be mad if he sees me. That's why you have to go to him, 'kay?" She tugged on his wrist, pointing to the road leading outside of town. "If you take that path to the big pond, you'll see his house. Lutie takes food to him, but she says he turns her away... Make sure he eats, 'kay?"

_Make sure he eats?_ All alarming news, but at least he wasn't dead. Better news than none, he supposed. "Thank you, Lym. I'll go to him right now."

And go he did, hurrying off down the path to visit his old friend and hoping for the best.

Among the trees near the pond was a small, shabby looking cottage next to an iced over pond, just as Lymle said. Less a cottage and more a shack, the abode was made of uneven stone and wood, its windows covered with thick linens. From the craftsmanship he assumed it was built shortly after the Eldarians abandoned their technology. Whether it was built by them or Faize himself was debatable. A pile of wood remained uncovered next to the smokestack, completely exposed to the elements. _Why would Faize let his place fall apart like this? I would think having suitable shelter would be first priority..._ Yet even being in this location defied Faize's usual logic. It was a long trek to Woodley, and surrounded by woods that he knew for fact contained many a beast that could come for him... But regardless of first impressions, Edge knew he had to ask Faize for the facts himself.

After taking a moment to build up the courage, Edge marched to the thick wooden door and knocked thrice, waiting for an answer.

All was quiet; eerily so. The wind blew lightly, rustling nearby trees. The crisp air sounded hollow around him, cold and bright all at once. All this, but nothing stirred within the house. After a few moments Edge began to have doubts. Was this really a place Faize would stay? Even if it was, was he still here? Was he ever here at all? In his haste, his hope, he could have heard things, misinterpreted them. Perhaps he imagined it all. Who knew? Hope and need did meny things to a person.

No, he wouldn't accept that. He couldn't. He knocked again, harder, more urgent. And again. Again. Then finally, finally, he heard stirring inside, footsteps on old wood. His heart quickened with every creak underfoot, soft, slow padding towards the door. Then it moved, a latch unhinging, swung open slowly, listless by means of the one behind it.

Faize. By all the stars in the heavenly ocean above, it was Faize. At first sight.

This was not Faize, not whom he knew. This boy's hair had grown long, dulled. This boy's skin had become ashen where before it was pale with hints of pink. This boy's eyes were dead. And as they paused, as he paused, body drained and mind confused, he could see it all too clear. As he leaned just slightly against the door, those eyes slowly, painfully slowly raised, met him, met his. A breath was taken in, gentle yet startled, that once pink, now ashen mouth left slightly agape, and those eyes looked as though they would cry. "...Edge..." His name, spoken from those lips as if it had been a small eternity, was almost gut wrenching with its earnest anguish, its unrequited need, its pained joy.

He stared. He stared forever, for longer than forever. Gods did it hurt. Then finally he sobbed, swallowed thickly his oncoming tears, blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. "...What are you... I thought... W-Why?" His voice, almost a whisper, words croaked from disuse sounded like a lost child, now found. How could he have changed so much?

Watching the boy who was infamous for battling his tears away crumble before him, Edge could not keep himself from attempting to comfort him. This time, he knew, he could not try to put up an act, could not keep his distance. As soon as the question was uttered Edge wrapped his arms around Faize, pulling him against his chest, enveloping his shaking frame. This was what he should have done all along... "It's good to see you, Faize." He muttered into his hair, already missing the shine of it, the softness of the strands, now coarse.

The boy's body shivered with sudden surprise, the very sensation of arms around him, the arms he had long for, craved, wish for, for far too long. His heart nearly betrayed him then, tears trying so hard to wrench themselves forward once more. He squashed them down, though barely, just barely, and he let his eyes close. He let his small body rest against Edge's.

The blonde could feel him now, finally, yet it was not as before. Faize used to be warm, full of life. The body once lithe and graced with lean, willowy muscle had become cold, pliable and malnourished. Where he once felt some semblance of strength, Edge now only felt bone and stretched flesh, waning muscle. It hurt. It really did.

Then feeling those arms he himself had missed so dearly wrapping around him, slow, shy, full of hesitance. It hurt all the more. They were smaller now, thinner. Not much, but noticeably so. Gods, what had Faize been doing to himself since the Missing Procedure?

"How are you here?" came the Eldarian's gentle voice, finally speaking. It was a little better now, though still raspy with disuse. It would seem the boy had not had much in the way of company if his voice was so hoarse, "Lymle called for me using the equipment in your ship." He stated, his arms loosening only slightly from around Faize's shoulders. "She said you needed help, so I came..." Amongst other things, of course, but Edge did not feel the need to go into those right now, not when Faize was already so torn up about his presence.

Those once bright eyes were on his again as Faize pulled away only just enough to look, arms loosening from his waist. Yet he refused to move any further away. Edge could see the very wheels inside the Eldarian's head turning as his eyes flicked back and forth between Edge's own, an expression of mixed placid joy and bewilderment on his too pale face. "But how was this authorized?" he asked, pausing to gently clear his throat before continuing. "I was told of a new regulation… I-is that false?" What was that in Faize's voice? Hope? He was still as naive as ever, painfully so.

Yet Edge could not keep the truth from him, not when the boy was already so desperate for honest relief. "No, the new laws are true." He stated, kicking himself in the pants for them once again, "But I was able to ask a special favor of Commander Kenny. He allowed me to come here if I did not make a scene." Bending the rules; that was Edge's specialty. "I had to see you, no matter what it took."

His words, honest and sincere, buried deep into the most tender part of the Eldarian, making him ache wholly. Despite all that had happened between them, all that had happened at his hand, Edge had come. He'd kept his promise. Faize could hardly find the words to express his joy.

So he didn't bother, instead embracing Edge once more, boldly taking their shared affection into his own hands. His body pressed against Edge's, touching that warmth once again, feeling that familiar form; it was more than heaven. A bit of comfort for a sore heart, peace for a weary soul. He couldn't have asked for more.

"How long will you stay?" His question was more a plea than a mere query. He was lonely here. Though it was a self-imposed isolation, it was isolation never the less that he had plunged himself into, and a lonesome heart was never a joyful one. He couldn't pass up this gift he had been given in Edge's presence, personal feelings aside.

The answer was all the more simple; Edge offered a soft, if not a bit worried smile, "As long as it takes for you to recover." Stated he, reaching up to ruffle Faize's hair. "You are worrying Lym, you know." Which, while it was troublesome, was the least of his worries. Edge had come because Faize needed him, not because Lymle wanted him to come. Unsure of whether Faize still felt the same for him, he still came running at the slightest mention of his condition. If even his presence could improve things, he would willingly break his own laws to insure his recovery.

Things took a somewhat different turn with the mention of his current state, the fact that he was worrying his friends. Faize stared, bewildered though he knew the truth. He denied his condition as he denied his pain back then, as he did now. Their bodies parted of the boy's accord. Just inches, but it felt like miles. "Why would she be worried?" His question came with an offered smile; tired and weak but it was still there, along with those deadened eyes. "I'm just fine."

The look on the blonde's face said enough. He crossed his arms, giving him a bit of a glare, "The answer is obvious... You look a mess, Faize." When dealing with the stubborn Eldarian, it was best to be blunt, he found. "You're thin as a rail, and I doubt you've been eating properly either." To name a few things. Among others was the fact that it was clear that Faize had not slept more than a few hours a night for several weeks, if at all from the bags under his eyes. He looked as if he could drop dead from illness at any given moment. "You can't tell me you think otherwise..."

Faize was taken aback by his boldness. But then, he always was. Edge was the rash one, the one quick to act and strong willed to see it through, no matter what anyone thought. Faize was not.

"Edge, that isn't true." His argument was weak, and clearly false. Even a fool could see the boy was unwell. Faize knew this, and relented a moment after his words were voiced. His eyes lowered, eye hanging just slightly as an uncomfortable silence enveloped them and this moment. It was awkward, ill timed, and unwanted. Faize sought to break it. "…W-would you like to come in?"

They had been having their heartfelt reunion in the bitter cold of the Lemurisian winter, Edge realized. He readily agreed, waiting for Faize to take the lead, "Please." Now he would be able to see how Faize had been living all this time; he imagined adjusting to the lack of technology without his companions to help ease him into the transition... Though it wasn't anywhere as unpleasant as his mind imagined due to his worry over his companion's condition and mental stability. As Edge noted when Faize stepped aside, a hand gesturing in a bidding of welcome, it was actually…cozy. The small home was underdeveloped as the rest of Lemeris, but despite this, the home was warm and welcoming.

Faize ushered Edge inside, shutting the door behind him to keep out the chill. The place was drafty, Edge noticed immediately, even with a fire going strong in the hearth. An iron rack stood in the hearth over the fire, a pot which had suffered a good amount of wear off to the side. The furniture was minimal but served its purpose; a chair by the fireplace, a small table in the corner, a few books on a shelf along the wall. Not much there to speak of, though another door lay at the far wall, cracked just enough to barely see inside. Bedroom Probably, for Edge saw no bed present in the current room.

The Eldarian slowly moved past him, seeking out a means to make something warm, maybe tea, for his guest. There wasn't much in the way of provisions in the cottage, but Faize was determined to make do.

Edge found a spot to sit at the table, leaving the chair for Faize should he desire a place near the hearth. "Did you build this place?" The craftsmanship wasn't as terrible as he expected, but judging from the draft, he suspected the place would leak when the spring came. At least the wood wasn't rotting yet or anything. Never the less he worried the construction was not sound enough to last a harsh windstorm or anything else to that extent.

Thankfully, not much of that sort happened in that region of the planet. Just the occasional blizzard; nothing too bad. Faize finally found a small bag of tealeaves Lutia had brought him a few months ago. It was traditional, though not really meant for guests. At the time it had been meant to sooth him, but it would serve his purpose. A pot full of water over the fire later and he began brewing it.

As he did he gazed the direction of his blonde haired companion, who seemed all the more eager to hear about him than before. In a way it was nice, but in a way, bittersweet. Too late, too late. "Um... No," he replied, looking through a nearby cupboard for a pair of clay cups to enjoy their tea in. "I'm not really cut out for something like that."

He wouldn't have guessed, but Edge wasn't about to say that. "Then the villagers nearby did?" He pushed for answers, or for conversation at all, really. Faize was too quiet, too subdued. He didn't like it at all. A gaze was cast his way, sullen but willing, a nod following after. "For all my help," he replied, soft and a little abrupt, gathering up two mugs to serve tea. Water was added after, tealeaves next, and the beverage was served. "For Lymle as well." He sat at the table with the Earthling, thin, delicate hands wrapped around the mug to warm his chilled body. "She has been much changed since last you saw her. Lutia and the others said it was thanks to me, to us all that she has become the young lady she is now."

"I met up with her in the village. She shot up like bamboo, didn't she?" He remarked of the girl's height. Edge was glad to see it, really; because of the trauma Lymle was stuck in a state of perpetual prepubescence, and now it seemed she had moved past it thanks to her travels.

But enough about her, this was about Faize. In the end, it was all about Faize.

A gentle hand reached for the young Eldarian, calloused fingertips brushing a strand of too-long green hair from his eyes. "But... How have you been holding up since...?" Since Ameena's death, since Eldar's destruction, since the Grigori overtook his body and twisted his hopes and fears into the monstrosity that was the Apostle of Creation... Wishes, dreams he would never have again. Fears, memories he wished had died as he'd tried to. But he voiced none of this. "…Fine." Violet eyes watched him from behind lime hair, the too-long, now stringy strands all but overtaking his lovely face, his narrow shoulders. Faize looked a ghost of his former self. Less than. "Lutia and Lymle visit often." His gaze lowered, rested on his tea cupped in his small hands. A poor attempt at ignoring the gentle closeness, the ache in his chest that the touch brought. "My friends come sometimes, too… though not recently."

"Faize... I'll be frank with you... You don't _look_ fine." Edge stated bluntly, rising to his feet to stand at full height, noting the measurable difference between them. Faize had always been shorter than him, but he made up for it with thick-soled boots and dance-like battle style. The Earthling could not help but wonder if he could even keep up in battle with how he was now, or if he even had the mental strength to take up his saber again.

Palm against his cheek, Edge gazed down at him, the worry apparent in his gaze. "I know a lot of things happened, and I wish I could redo so many events that transpired before the war, but I can't, and neither can you." As much as this knowledge hurt him, he had to voice it just to drive his point home, "But dwelling on it won't change anything, only action can... That's why I'm here; to act." Act on his feelings for once, reach out to Faize like should have before, and maybe, just maybe, bring the boy back to his former self before tragedy tainted the outlook of his life and dragged him into the abyss of sorrow.

"Edge, I..." Sorrow. His face , his eyes, littered with it. He didn't want to talk about this, didn't want to think about it. He wanted to beg, plead never to hear of those days ever again.

But no.

This needed to be said. A thousand words left unspoken. A thousand feelings never expressed. A thousand truths never confessed. A thousand lies exposed, lived, and in their wake they left a thousand regrets.

He needed this. Edge did and Faize did most of all.

Lips trembled, thin throat moved as it swallowed thick, hard. He couldn't keep it together. Not lie this. Not after all that had happened. His eyes lowered, the slightest shimmer of pink tainting the purple hue. Faize would not meet his former captain's gaze as he spoke. "I'm sorry..." he muttered, sounding so broken just then. Hands slipped to rest in his lap, fingers laced tightly together to provide himself some support. "I was weak. And that weakness ruined everything..." His eyes slipped closed, a sorry attempt to keep tears at bay. "...Ruined 'us'."

"Faize, you didn't ruin 'us'." Edge corrected; they shared one night of passion before all hell broke loose, and before that there had only been light touches, passing glances. He hadn't ruined their relationship because there was hardly a relationship to begin with. And even though the events drove them apart, Faize was not solely responsible for their falling out. "When help was offered to you, you took it, because no one else extended the same courtesy to you." Edge turned his gaze away, the fingers falling from Faize's cheek, hand resting on his shoulder. "I know now... If I had reached out to you before, you would not have done what you did."

This was not what he had come for; caught up in his emotions he could only feel sorry for himself, blame himself when it was neither Edge nor Faize that was at fault for the Missing Procedure. It was the Grigori who had conspired the events, and they were just puppets in their play. Edge knew this, but Faize... "What I'm trying to say is..."

Their moment was interrupted by a small noise from the bedroom, a muffled cry with the shuffling of sheets. Edge paused, his eyes turning to the cracked open door, perplexed.

Sudden as it was, Faize's surprise was all the more so. From sorrow to a startled worry, the Eldarian shot to his feet with a near silent, sharp gasp. No more attention did he pay to the man before him, instead casting his gaze and a fretful look back towards the open door. The small noises continued, barely audible but still very much there. All the while Faize just stared, his expression shifting from worried to a mix of both contemplation and fear. What was going through his mind with a look like that?

A shy side-glance drifted back towards Edge, sadness overtaking the contemplation and leaving the remaining fear in Faize's eyes. Edge knew that look. 'Oh, what have I done?' 'What would he think of me if he knew?' That kind of thing. But before he could get a word out, the smaller boy spoke. "Edge, I..." His little pink tongue darted out to wet his lips; a nervous action, as was the thick swallow that followed. More pondering, eyes shifting to the wooden floor, more softly spoken words. "…There is someone that I…think you should meet..." He sounded defeated, broken. Why?

His first thoughts were obvious; who or what was in the bedroom, and why was Faize so nervous about Edge's knowledge of him? Had Faize, in his moment of loneliness and need, sought out another lover in his absence? No, no that was not the sound of a grown man or woman, that was... "Who?"

The answer did not come in the form of words, but of a simple look. Faize's eyes met his but briefly, and in that moment Edge could fathom the full extent of his nervousness. But it was not to be discussed, or even spoken upon, for Faize turned and made his way to the bedroom before he could speak, slow but with purpose. He crossed the short distance of the house's main living area and into the darkened back room.

More noises were heard; little gurgles and small whimpers, gentle shushing and warm coos from Faize. The sounds alone were much to contemplate, and the longer the Eldarian remained out of his sights, the more Edge could speculate. He certainly knew what it sounded like, and it was not an adult. But the question remained of who the noises came from, though he was beginning to get an idea... "Faize?" Edge called to him, inching closer to the bedroom door, not too fond of surprises when it came to these situations.

But before he could make it to the bedroom he was met halfway by Faize emerging from the shadows of the darkened room… with something bundled up in his arms. Something small, wrapped in a knit blanket and a familiar cloak that made Edge shiver somewhere deep inside. Or perhaps it wasn't just the cloak. Perhaps it was the fact that said bundle was squirming, that it was making little gurgled noises. Or maybe it was the expression on Faize's face, one of hesitation, fear and hope mixed together in one.

"…Edge..." he finally spoke, moving slowly closer, all the while gently unwrapping the bundled cradled in his arms. "…This is Fyodir..." Oh god, you could cut the tension with a knife. "..Your son..." Or a workman's blade.

The little bundle, a child, an infant, perhaps only a few months old, stared up at him with big, sea-green eyes. Tufts of golden blonde stuck out in all directions, ears much like an Eldarian's peeking out, though they drooped slightly, unlike Faize's that stood straight up. They child was small, skinny, but still gurgled and smiled when he laid eyes on his supposed father. "My... Son?" Edge repeated, his mind reeling. This was not what he expected when he came to see his friend in need. The first question on his lips was "How?", but one need only point out that single night that they lay together, that Edge discovered Faize's unusual anatomy.

He knew from the beginning that Faize was different, a little more effeminate than a soldier should be. Yet he never gave it much thought seeing as he was so young, and meant more for research than battle. But as their passions escalated Faize felt the need to interrupt and explain the special circumstances he was born with.

Eldar was facing what could have easily been an extinction event, and as a being that was genetically manufactured to insure the continued existence of his race, he was given the ability to take both roles in a relationship; in layman's terms, Faize was intersexed, capable of giving and taking in every sense of the words, genitalia extending and receding depending on the role he was to take. That night, Faize assumed the "taking" role, and neither knowing if cross-species breeding was possible, continued with abandon.

The knowledge that the one night they spent together resulted in what was easily the first Earthling-Eldarian hybrid was a little more than alarming.

Like any man, Edge thought to deny it. How could it be my child when it had been so long since we've seen each other? When we only slept together once? But he could not; the boy was the spitting image of him, green eyes and blonde hair... Edge was becoming more alarmed by the fact that Faize was pregnant during the war than the outcome of Fyodir's conception.

Yet, like a real man, Edge knew he could not shirk his paternal responsibilities. He had come to Lemuris to help Faize; it just so happened he needed to help Fyodir, too.

...It helped that the infant was cute, as well.

"Fyodir..." Edge repeated, stepping closer, gently reaching for the child, tickling his cheek. Fyodir giggled, reaching for his father's finger. At that moment Edge felt his heart swell with joy. This child, his child... "Can I hold him?"

To see Edge so accepting, even if the presentation of such was awkward and clearly somewhat panicked, filled Faize with a silent joy. Though he knew Edge must have been unsure, even scared of the sudden development, he couldn't help but be thankful that he took it as well as he did. He had been so fearful the man would not only reject the idea of his mid-mission fling bearing his child, but that he would reject him as well as the infant in his arms.

Thank the heavens that wasn't the case.

When Edge asked to hold Fyodir, Faize was quietly ecstatic, smiling gentle but bright. "O-of course..." He came close as he could, adjusting the bundle in his arms to hand off to his father, watching the infant's reaction with doting eyes. Edge carefully pulled Fyodir to him, cradling him how he was taught from childhood; use your forearms, support the head... But he could not help the excitement he felt. While it was mixed with a great deal of fear and concern, Edge's heart swelled with what could only be described as joy.

He smiled warmly down at the infant, "Hey, Fyodir..." He said quietly, having a private moment with the wriggling bundle and his "mother", "I'm your daddy...!" Oh, those words made him feel elated. Sudden or not, this child, in spite of all their hardships, had come into this world unscathed, and he was beautiful.

As if responding to the proclamation, the child suddenly smiled a big, gummy grin, giggling as those big green eyes stared up at the man that only a moment ago was a complete stranger. Edge grinned along, laughing softly to himself, "How old is he now?" His attention turned to Faize with the question.

Seeing his little son, who had always been wary and distrusting of strangers, take to Edge in an instant made the small Eldarian's heart pound with joy. Even though he couldn't have understood, it was almost as if Fyodir knew just by looking at Edge that he was his father. An amazing sight, he had to say. He was interested to see what other behaviors the child would express in Edge's presence.

At the Earthling's question, Faize pulled himself from his musings to meet Edge's eyes, expression placid and happier than he had been in far too long. "He's just about a month old. A little more." He couldn't really tell him exactly, for he had lost track of time and dates being holed up in his small house. But perhaps Lutia and Lymle would know the exacts.

So young, Edge thought, and Faize had been raising him alone all this time. "You are very brave for taking care of him by yourself." Stated Edge, cuddling the boy close, smiling down at him with what could only be described as love in his eyes. This child, his child... "I'm sorry I could not be there for you..."

Ah, Edge. So wonderfully naive at times. Strange how he could have come out of all they had gone through without a hitch, while Faize…

"I wouldn't have expected you to be," the younger one stated matter-of-factly. How could he have? After all, with Edge now a simple courier and Earth's new laws in place, Faize had leveled with the very real conclusions that he would never see the man again. But things seemed to have changed for the better with but a simple knock at his door.

Faize gazed down lovingly at his child in Edge's arms, the barest hint of a smile seeping through, his deadened eyes holding just the smallest touch of light. "But I'm glad you're here now,' he reassured, moving just a little closer, longing to feel the warmth he'd wished to el for so long now. "To be honest… I feel as if I'm dreaming. I'm fearful that I'll wake up any moment and you'll be gone again, far off on the other side of the galaxy."

Such a thought... Edge did not want to think of it right now, not when he finally had Faize close again. "I thought you dead... I wished otherwise, of course, but not knowing where you landed after the missing procedure, or if you landed at all..." Edge sighed, pulling the familiar black cloak closer around Fyodir to warm him, "I thought of you a lot, you know... What you were doing, if you felt better, if you were exploring and learning again." He sighed, glancing to Faize again, "I really did miss you, Faize. Things aren't the same without you around."

Hearing all this warmed Faize just a little, made him feel just a little better. This was what he'd needed. He knew that now.

No, he always had. He'd needed Edge so much over the last few months. He'd have been grateful for his kindness, his support. Just his presence would have helped, made him less lonely. He would have been more than thankful if Edge had been there for Fyodir's birth. He'd wished so desperately that he'd been there that night, holding his hand and soothing him throughout.

But Faize wasn't that selfish. Not anymore. "I thought of you as well..." he admitted, though quietly, as if not to infer anything. "…I thought of you all the time. I don't think you ever left my thoughts for a moment..."

"Faize..." There was so much to be said, yet Edge could not find the words to form a proper explanation of how he felt. Gods he had longed for this boy in ways a man should not, and it had haunted him all this time. Not just his feelings, but his inactions, knowing that if he had done more for Faize in his time of need instead of dwelling on his own problems, he could have been saved. But no, instead he wallowed in self-pity, ignoring the signs, the silent pleas for help.

Before much could be said, the bundle in his arms shifted, body tensing as Fyodir let a long yawn, eyes drooping. It was then that Edge noticed how late it was; he had landed in the late afternoon, after all... "Ah, are you tired, Fyo?"

To his embarrassment, Faize finally realized the time as well. And the child had yet to be fed his evening meal. Silently Faize cursed his forgetfulness, and hurriedly went to warm the leftover milk Lymle had recently brought by.

So much for an easy going evening together. "Edge, if you're tired then please rest. I'll take care of the baby," he called back before hurriedly rushing outside towards the small storage unit at the side of the home.

Blinking, Edge watched him leave, Fyodir still in his arms. He smiled down at the child, giving him a little snuggle. "Let's go lay down, Fyo." He stated, carrying the baby to what he presumed was the bedroom. He was correct, and it was just as shabby as he expected. A small bed, a basket against the wall for the baby, and a dresser that looked vaguely familiar. Edge was beginning to think that a lot of the furniture Faize had was taken from the village Lymle grew up in... Where everyone had gone mad and turned to stone. He hoped he was wrong.

At least the blankets on the bed looked warm. Edge set Fyodir down first, then started to remove his shoes. No sense sleeping with hiking boots on. Once he was dressed down enough to be comfortable, he pulled back the blankets and climbed in, holding Fyodir to his chest while he situated himself. The child wriggled in against him, as if trying to get closer, which made Edge smile.

It wasn't long until Faize returned from the outside, a small wooden bucket in tow. He set it down to shut the door and latch it, shivering from the bitter chill of the early spring night. There was hardly ever a time on this planet that snow was not present on the ground. Only in the summer months did it all thaw completely, allowing time to enjoy green earth until it was overtaken once more.

Faize suffered for it. He would be lying if he said he didn't. But this was all he could do for himself now, and for his child. Silently, he set about his task of heating the milk he had brought in from the cold, warming it inside one of the more well used pots until it was just about body temperature.

Not long after, Faize ventured into the bedroom to retrieve his son and feed him as he should have hours ago. He was still kicking himself for forgetting about him, but was just a little more concerned over the fact that he hadn't cried when he became hungry. In fact, Fyodir almost never cried. He was such a strangely good child, always so calm when other infants would be screaming their heads off. The boy sighed at his musing as he set eyes on his former captain and son.

Both were tucked together, so peaceful and cozy. He almost didn't have the heart to interrupt. Almost. "Edge...?" he called softly, quiet so as not to rouse Fyodir lest he was sleeping. Thankfully he wasn't, if the excited cooing gave any indication. Faize found himself smiling once more and he moved closer, climbed onto the old bed of wood, cloth and straw, and reached for his child. He pulled the baby into his arms with a little kiss, resting him on his lap as he produced a small metal bottle that looked decently close to an Earthling version of a baby bottle, with tiny holes poked into the mouthpiece.

Was this how Faize had been feeding him? It almost seemed a little cold, impersonal. But then again, where any woman with a newborn would have had breasts swelled with milk, Faize's thin chest was as flat as it had ever been. This could only lead to a conclusion that the young Eldarian was incapable of producing said milk. And if that was the case… then Edge sort of understood the method used to feed the baby.

And honestly, Fyodir took to it well enough. Greedy little thing, he was.

"Goat's milk, right?" Edge asked quietly, having been watching silently the whole time. He wondered if the commander would scorn him if he requested baby formula be delivered to Lemuris. That was silly; of course he would. It was a clear violation of the UP3, after all. Edge had to remind himself that the people of this planet had birthed babies before and had undoubtedly had to feed them a replacement for breast milk at one time or another. Perhaps he was just antsy because it was _his_ child...

Thankfully Faize was none the wiser about his musings or he would be scolding him, too. Instead, he cradled their child close to his chest, feeding him carefully. Eventually he looked up, met Edge's gaze, after a long, drawn out silence. Faize had become more than a little distant in their time apart. "Yes," he answered with a soft nod, his now much longer hair falling in his face. He didn't bother to fix it, both hands preoccupied. He didn't even bother with a sharp flip of his head for a momentary solution.

"Or the equivalent of, at least..." Now that Edge thought about it, he hadn't become all that familiar with the local farm animals. All he knew was there were a type of fowl here that looked remarkably like chickens.

One of the many blankets was draped over Faize's shoulders, enclosing him in warmth from behind. Edge smiled, moving to sit closer to the boy as he fed the child, "You shouldn't go out without a coat, Faize. It's really cold out there." Said the man that wandered the mountains in the snow wearing a sleeveless shirt. Lord knows he couldn't feel his shoulders after that. Still, the sentiment was there, and though Edge kept his distance, one could tell he still cared.

It was just too bad Faize had figured it out so late.

Grateful for his kindness, Faize offered the blonde a small smile from behind long hair, just a little sad, but sincere. "Still so worried over me..." he said softly in return. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed it, either. "You don't have to worry anymore, Edge... I'm no longer your responsibility." And then he would ruin a nice sentiment saying a damn fool thing like that.

"Responsibility?" Edge repeated, appalled. What a statement, and just when he thought they were making progress. He grasped his shoulder, staring Faize down, "You think I do things like this because I think I'm "responsible" for you? Is that it?"

Well, when he put it like that, it didn't sound very nice at all. The Eldarian lowered his head in defeat, exhaling shakily. "That didn't come out right..." Yes, it had. It had to have. There was no other way to word his feelings on the matter. He was kicking himself once again.

Fyodir fussing over a now empty bottle was a welcome distraction. Faize easily pulled the bottle away and set it on the nearby side table, all the while cuddling the infant to his chest. The two settled after that, the teen mother rocking the bundled up child, slow and soothing. He was giving him his full attentions, keeping his eyes on Fyodir or the bed, the floor, the wall; anywhere but Edge's eyes. He didn't want to look at him just then see the disappointment on his face.

"Faize..." The hand returned, this time gently grasping his chin, turning his gaze back to the blonde. "I didn't fly across the galaxy to check on a subordinate or demand a progress report." He stated clearly, hoping that his words would get through to his companion, his old friend. "I came because you were in need, and..." He was staring now at that hurt expression, the slight pout on those pale lips, once rosy and full of life. Was he really ready to say how he thought about Faize? Confess all he had been thinking of these past months?

Forced as he was to meet Edge's gaze, unable to find the will to fight him, Faize did so willingly, staring into those deep, bright eyes with a tender longing. Could it be he still felt the same as before?

Edge's words both broke his heart and mended it at the same time, making feel just a little better. Flawed as his statement was and as much as words failed him, Edge could still somehow make him so happy. "And...?" he asked after somewhat of a tense pause, violet eyes curious and calm. Then out of nowhere the boy smiled, letting out a tiny sigh, eyes lowering almost shyly. "…Why is it neither of us can ever say what we feel?"

"I don't know." Edge stated plainly, "You were always smarter than me, more focused. But you were naïve, and wanted a happiness that the universe would likely not offer. I watched you fall into a personal hell, yet I was so consumed with my own self-loathing that I failed to notice before it was too late. You fell to the Grigori, and I realized that if I had not been so self-absorbed in my own problems, I could have helped you, raised you from perdition, _saved_ you..." Edge recalled those grim moments, where he had let Faize alone, instead of reaching out to him, assuming he was strong enough to handle the traumas he had faced. Oh, how very wrong he was.

"Yet knowing this, knowing the laws, and knowing how it all ended, I couldn't stop thinking of you. Every day, I wondered where you were, if you found the happiness you sought. But I always thought you did not want to see me, that you would come to hate me for failing you so greatly..." Edge's hand shifted to the back of Faize's neck, cupping it. Green eyes fell to violet, a soft smile on Edge's face. That look, that loving gaze that belonged to Faize and Faize only... He would not give it up for the world.

With that confession, Edge leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to Faize's lips. Chaste, sweet, simply to show that he cared and still wanted the Eldarian in his life. He pulled back all too soon, green eyes boaring into his, as if they could see right through into his soul. "Words fail me, yes, but that's why I'm here. Allow my actions to speak for me, Faize."

Speechless. The small Eldarian was left totally speechless by Edge's bold move. His eyes were on the blonde's once more, his child cradled to his chest tightly. Gods, he could feel his heart pounding. And with it, he oddly felt so serene, at peace. It felt so nice to feel like that again, to feel something. With Edge like this again, he felt alive after so long. Very suddenly he felt something warm run down his cheek, and instinctively a hand shot up to wipe it away. He found moisture there, a tear he hadn't felt coming. More on the way.

He stared down at his open hand a long moment, just looking at the faint hint of wetness there… and smiled. "Make me whole again..." Faize said so softly it almost felt as if he'd said nothing at all. Only his eyes on Edge's, the gentle warmth and kind longing all over his still so very sad face told that he'd spoken, and they spoke volumes. "Act." That hand came up to touch, to rest upon the older one's shoulder, gripping at skin gently. "And I'll follow. I promise."

This was what he should have done all along; share his feelings, say what he really thought. Honesty would have saved them both back then, and hopefully it would save Faize now. Edge leaned in close again, pressing a soft kiss to the Eldarian's forehead, "Let's rest." He muttered, brushing a stray tear away from Faize's cheek with the gentle caress of a thumb. "You need it more than me."

Faize smiled warmly at the man's kindness, his thoughtful nature, and expelled a soft sigh. How nice it felt to finally have this again, to have warmth in his life again. He'd missed it, truly.

His musings were interrupted by Fyodir squirming in his arms, making a fuss with little upset gurgles. Faize chuckled lightly and cradled him closer, finally letting go of Edge's shoulder in order to adjust the infant on his chest better. "I think he's tired, too..." the boy stated with eyes cast the former captain's way.

It was hint enough, and about as close to admitting defeat due to exhaustion Faize was going to get. It was progress regardless.

Edge climbed back to the head of the bed, pushing the blankets back so Faize could come lay in their warmth. To make it easier, he reached for Fyodir, volunteering to take him while his mother got himself comfortable.

It was a gesture Faize happily accepted with a fluttering heart. He scooted closer to hand the baby off, placing him in his father's arms and made sure he was comfortable there before moving to bed down. He settled in under the thick wool blankets and a warm knit blanket he'd made himself. Learned from Lutia, actually. Apparently it was a traditional pastime for pregnant women. Who was he to complain at the time, really?

Once settled he gazed up at Edge, eyes warm and just a little bit brighter than they had been that afternoon when Edge had first seen him again. It was really nice to see. "Come rest, Edge," he said softly, reaching for the man once more.

Edge did so willingly, burying himself in the warm blankets, curled closely to the Eldarian and his child. As soon as he was beneath the sheets, he scoot closer, cudling up to Faize. Fyodir wriggled between them, as if trying to get closer to them both. This made his father chuckle, "Does he usually sleep with you?" Asked the blonde, trying to keep his voice down so not to disturb the peace.

Both grateful for the added warmth of Edge's body and the company provided, Faize moved closer to his once lover, as close as he could get without squishing the baby between them. "He does, yes," he replied, pressing a little kiss to the infant's head. Fyodir cooed in happiness, earning him a loving smile from both parents. "It's far too cold here to just let him sleep alone."

The blonde gazed down at the gurgling child, watching as he let a cute little yawn before letting his eyes flutter closed. Such a strange infant he was, but Edge found him becoming more and more attached to him by the second. "I'll keep you both warm, then." Muttered the captain, draping an arm over Faize, scooting as close as he could without squishing the baby. "So rest, Faize. Things will get better."

The younger one nodded gently, settling in for an early night. With Fyodir tucked between the two of the and Edge wrapping him in a warmth he'd not felt in far too long, he let himself rest with the knowledge that both he and his child were both safe and warm, cared for by the one person he wished would give him that.

The final thought that went through his mind was a silent prayer; 'please don't let this be a dream'.

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End chapter one. More to come. Thank you for your time and please R&R


	2. Chapter 2: Calm

**Faize is still reeling from all that happened a year ago; the tragedy and deaths that lead up to the incident inside the Missing Procedure. Edge is still trying to take in the fact that Faize has changed and that he is seemingly traumatized by the event, but that he was pregnant at the time and neither were aware. More to come, soon. I swear I'm getting to a point...**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Calm**

The following morning was a chilly one, as was expected on the snowy planet of Lemuris. One had to wonder why the Eldarian's consider this to be their paradise; it must have been because Eldar was stifling hot in comparison.

When Faize woke the spot next to him was empty, devoid of any warmth, save for Fyodir who clung to his chest. The child gurgled, little hands flailing, as if trying to get his mother's attention, likely hungry.

Edge, however, was nowhere to be found.

The small Eldarian was roused from his sleep to a cold house, an equally cold bed and noises coming from his roof. Puzzled and still half asleep the boy shifted with a groan, blinking numerously as he attempted to ponder the source of the noise. And just where the hell was Edge?

For a brief, painful moment he imagined the previous day truly was a dream and he had merely woken to a harsh reality, alone, cold… and with banging on his roof. Seriously, what _was_ that?!

Finally, curious and with the inability to get back to sleep due to the constant annoyance, Faize willed himself to sit up and drag himself from the confines of the none too warm bed. Rather listlessly he gathered the still drowsing infant into his arms, cuddling him to his chest with a blanket in tow, and made his way towards the front of the small house, slipping a pair of shoes on as he went, outside and into the snow.

He was greeted by a bright morning sun, the clouds that usually hung around in winter no longer clinging to the skies above today. It had also snowed the night before. But that wasn't what concerned him. What did was the ladder parked up against the side of his house. Confused and curious, Faize slowly made his way towards it, back just enough to look up at the awkwardly slanted roof. Ah, that was the cause of the noise.

"Edge?" the boy called, both relieved to see the Earthling was still around and had not been a work of fiction made up by a wishful mind, but puzzled as to what he was doing. "..Why are you on my roof?"

A blonde head peaked out from over the ledge, hair a mess and face covered with a sheen of sweat. "Oh! Sorry, did I wake you up?" Edge grinned, chuckling sheepishly glancing over his shoulder. "You uh... You have a hole near your chimney. I was just patching it up." Mostly because he couldn't sleep, but he didn't feel like mentioning that. No need to worry Faize.

Not that Faize would at the moment. He was already busy processing Edge still being here and all that had happened preciously. That, and he was very cold, he just realized. With a small sigh the Eldarian turned to head inside, clutching the now squirming infant to his chest to shield him from the elements. "I'll make breakfast..." he called back, and went inside.

A few moments later, Edge entered the little cottage, wiping the sweat from his brow. "There, should be all patched up now." He set the borrowed tools aside, moving to wash his hands in the basin. "How long has it been like that? It was letting a draft in."

Faize, who was already searching for provisions to actually make said promised breakfast with baby still in arms, looked back towards him briefly. "I'm not really sure," he answered, going back to looking in cupboards and coming out disappointed. With a huff he stood, brushing off his clothing with his free hand, Fyodir cuddled to his chest. "I hadn't even been aware of it until you brought it to my attention."

"Well, it's patched now." Edge gave him a mock-salute and a grin, "Is there any other way I can be of service?" So cheeky; Edge must have been in a good mood after being snuggled up next to Faize and Fyodir all night, even if he didn't sleep for long.

Seeing him like this made Faize smile, if not tiredly. Edge wasn't the only one who hadn't slept much lately. "That will be all for now, private." the boy said in a playful retort, complete with his own mock Earthling solute. "But really..." he slipped back into seriousness, cuddling Fyodir closer as he moved towards the man. "I'm in need of provisions. I'm afraid I don't have anything besides a bag of grain and some tea for breakfast."

No food? Well, that simply wouldn't do. Edge couldn't have either of them going hungry, especially Fyodir. "Get dressed, we'll make a trip to Woodley to stock up. I wouldn't want a blizzard to hit and for you two to starve."

Woodley… Suddenly Faize seemed just a bit hesitant. But why? He was usually such a friendly, social person. From what Edge remembered, Faize always jumped at the chance to meet new people and talk to friends. Then again, everything he remembered was from before—

"That's fine. Here." The boy moved closer, carefully handing off the infant to his father. Fyodir squirmed and fussed, none too pleased about being awake this early. To counter it Faize cooed gently at him, petting his little cheek and head soothingly. "I'll be back in a moment, Fyodir," he reassured, "So don't make trouble for your father." A moment later he went off to dress, trying to find something suitably thick for the weather.

He didn't find much. Frowning, he was forced to dress in what he had; clothes for summer, made from thin cotton. A tunic, pants, socks, a jacket. All were in white or cream, the boy having not been all that keen to bother anyone to dye the fabric before the clothing had been made. There wasn't much of a point to it, anyway, he figured.

He came out from the back soon after dressed and ready, that favored cloak draped over his shoulders. He would find Edge in the rocking chair, cuddling Fyodir to his chest, talking to him quietly as the baby stared up at him, as if listening intently. When Faize emerged, he glanced up to him with a smile before standing. "Ready to go?" Asked he, looking around for something to wrap Fyodir in. He didn't have much in the way of clothing either, did he?

Another essential to add to the list. Faize offered the man another knit blanket for the child, a small smile on his lips. Though it would keep Fyodir warm, this blanket was shoddier than the other he was wrapped in, the knitting inexperienced. Could it be Faize had made this one? "I'm ready when you are, Edge."

Edge took the bundle into his arms, wrapping the blankets tighter around the infant, heading for the door. "Can you think of things we'll need around the house? I'm not sure what you prefer to eat down here." Faize was always adamant about having a balance and nutritional meal while they were on the Calnus. He imagined that wasn't very easy while living on an underdeveloped planet like this.

The boy guided him out the door, slipping on his shoes, a pair of simple leather ankle boots, lacing them before heading out into the snow. "I'll just follow your lead." That didn't sound much like Faize at all. Usually he was so picky with his food, always trying to keep his body well and full of needed energy. But now...

Well, now he just didn't seem to care at all. If how thin and pasty he'd become was any indication, that is. Edge would not accept it; "Let's think of things we'd both like to eat, then." He suggested, still trying to ease Faize into a more considerate mindset.

The two ventured out into the snow, Fyodir clutched close to his father's chest to shield him from the cold. "We should stock up on dried meats and fruits, and get goats milk for Fyo..." He thought out loud, "There's a place that sells sweets too, if you want a snack. You like cookies, right?"

Edge was… really trying hard, wasn't he? Such commitment, even when they hadn't seen each other in over an Earth-year. It was odd to see, something he was completely unused to, but as usual, Edge made him smile over the silliest things. Though it was small, a barest hint, Faize was smiling. "If that's what you want, then that sounds wonderful." But he still wouldn't give any indication of what he would find appealing to eat on this planet. Small steps, Edge told himself. Small steps and eventually he'll get better.

The walk to town was quiet, Edge enjoying being out in the fresh, not-machine-filtered air, and the company, of course. Faize was quiet for the most part, just enjoying the crisp air. He stuck close to Edge, wanting whatever small amount of bodily warmth he could provide. Enhanced genetics or not, Faize was not impervious to freezing cold weather.

Fyodir babbled quietly against his chest, as if trying to carry on a conversation himself that only he could understand. It was cute regardless, and Edge found himself falling in love with the little boy more and more. "He's a talkative one, isn't he?"

"He is, yes," the boy replied, pressing close to his companion's side. "He's always very talkative." His companion kept him close, keeping Fyodir near. "I wonder what he's trying to say to us with that baby babble of his." Edge gazed down at the infant, wrapped securely in the blankets to shield him from the wind. "Maybe he's commenting on the weather, or how lovely his mother is." He snickered, obviously teasing.

To Edge's own babbling, the small Eldarian gazed up at him through overgrown locks, an incredulous and almost sarcastic look on his face. The man got a nudge to the side from a well placed elbow a moment later. "You're still talking like that.." More of a statement than a question, and more than a little embarrassing. Yet even the baby found it amusing, both because of his mother's reaction and his father's words. He giggled in turn.

Edge couldn't help the smile, leaning down just slightly to give Fyodir a little kiss. "I'm not. Fyo is." He added defensively, grinning at his companion from the corner of his eye. "And babies do not lie." Oh, the flirting again. Just like old times, before Faize knew better, and before they both fell. Reminiscent and painful.

Throughout this flirting, though Fyodir did not remain silent, Faize did. Edge talking to him like that again, as he had during their little moments together, like all the borrowed time they had taken in order to grow closer. He almost let himself melt into it, almost let himself be carried away and drift into that familiar and beautiful warmth. Almost. But then he reminded himself of the events that had lead up to his current predicament.

It was sobering. Sobering enough that the Eldarian almost pulled away from his once-lover. But his body's needs outweighed his desires and he was forced to stay, huddled for warmth. He really needed thicker clothes.

They arrived at Woodley not long after, the town already bustling with people going to market, peddling their wares or trading them for others. Lutea was among them, selling medicinal cures alongside Lymle, who insisted on helping, it seemed. Edge made note to visit them later, but first. "The tailor is over here, right?" Straight to the point.

Amethyst eyes turned in the direction the man was pointing, a small nod confirming his question. But what Edge wanted with the tailor was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. Faize was more interested in visiting Lymle and Lutea for medicine, picking up milk for Fyodir and visiting the local grocer for something more suitable than tea and supplies for baking bread to eat while Edge was around.

He carefully pulled the child from Edge's arms, cuddling him tightly to his chest. Fyodir fussed immediately, and his mother sought to calm him by rocking and bouncing him gently. The fit didn't last long with attention like that.

"I never expected you to be so good with kids, Faize." Commented Edge, crossing his arms as Faize went off to run his errands. Without having a family to speak of growing up, it seemed that Faize had been melded into a respectable parent. The look of contentment that he wore with the child in his arms... It was almost a relief that he was able to smile at all.

"When one has a need for something, one learns," the boy called back, and headed off to get his chores done, leaving Edge to his own devices.

Meanwhile, Faize went about visiting the usual places. First he visited Lymle and Lutea. Next he was promptly dragged along by the two girls, who of course insisted that he had to take better care of both himself and little Fyodir, especially with 'daddy' back in town. Gods, Faize could feel his whole body flinch at that.

As the two dragged him about he was taken to his usual spots, where he was able to purchase milk for Fyodir, some salted meat and cooking supplies for Edge, and even medicine for himself. The latter, he was beginning to desperately need, whether he would admit to it or not.

All the while Edge explored the town, seeking out the shops he was only partially familiar given that he only spent a short time in Woodley before. He put in a couple orders for a new coat and some winter clothing for Faize, hoping he had guessed his sizing correctly, as well as some proper outfits for Fyodir. All the while he could not help but hear the exchanging of whispers about his companion.

The adults kept to themselves about it, but the youth of the town were not so polite; they spoke of rumors the adults would not dare repeat in his presence, that Faize was an ill omen, that he must have been a cross-dresser or a demon to have given birth to a child. Even worse, they also said those things of Fyodir.

For the first time in ages, Edge felt his blood boil at the accusations. Faize was neither a cross-dresser or a demon, he was simply different than them. How could they accuse such a gentle soul of that? They knew nothing of his past, nothing of the good deeds he had done... And had they forgotten Faize's part in saving their planet from that awful illness that took everyone in the village of Triom?

It made him so upset that he felt himself shaking... Not because of the words they said, but because he _knew _Faize must have heard their hubris and simply let it go, letting it spread... And he had a feeling he knew why.

Edge finished his errands quickly, trying to locate Faize before he could boil over.

By then Faize had finished up his own errands on town and had bid his farewells to the two girls. He went to look for Edge, his child secured to his chest by the Eldarian's cloak, slung around him and tied over his shoulder. Over the other shoulder he carried a bag given to him by Lutea, of which he carried his supplies more easily. In his hands he carried a wooden covered bucket full of milk for Fyodir. Nothing very large, just enough for a few days. All this was heavy on his small body but he managed. He'd had to for months, now, without Edge.

Though when he spotted the man and caught up to him he couldn't in good conscious say he wasn't grateful for the added assistance. "Edge, over here!" he called to get his attention, waving when he looked back.

The voice knocked him from his frustrated daze and he did his best to smile for his companion. "Oh, there you are..." Immediately Edge took the bag and bucket from Faize, taking the weight from him. "Did you finish your errands?"

Surprised, Faize nodded. Really, he hadn't expected Edge to do all that for him. Just taking the milk was good enough. But he didn't linger on the idea, instead using his now free arms to hold Fyodir tighter to him, shielding him from the cold. "I did, yes." He looked up at the blonde, a faint smile of thanks on his features. Gods, in this light Faize looked even more pale. "What about you?"

"Mostly. I need you for the last bit." He took Faize's hand, pulling him towards the tailor's shop. "You need something warmer to wear, and so does Fyo." He stated tritely, avoiding looking at Faize's face at all costs. Something was eating him, and he was doing his best to avoid showing it.

He was doing a poor job. As usual, Faize knew something was the matter and, as usual, he said nothing about it. He figured Edge would sort it out on his own as he always did and he would be a ray of sunshine in no time. Or maybe it just had to do with his fretting over the mother and baby having little more than light clothing to wear in the chilly spring months.

Yes, it had to be that. So, in turn, Faize obliged him, following the captain to the local tailor, as per request.

The seamstress spent the time fretting over how loosely the clothing fit, saying that his measurements were right last time, which of course made Edge even more anxious. At least one could wear winter clothing more loosely and not cause too many problems. And for a bit more coin, she even agreed to have them delivered to Faize's home... Even though she too seemed a bit skittish of this prospect, as if she expected to be sacrificed to some demon for even coming close to the cottage. Edge ignored this, preferring to stick close to Faize instead. "Do you like them?" He asked of the new wool coat and garments the woman was sizing on him.

Faize, of course, was embarrassed as all get out over Edge spoiling him like this. He watched from his place on a slightly elevated platform, the woman flitting about and pinning various bits of the seams of his new coat so it would properly fit. Watching Edge sitting there with their child on his lap made him so strangely happy, giving him a warmth in him that centered in his chest and made his stomach all a flutter. He couldn't help but smile.

"It's lovely, yes..." he replied, clear thanks in his voice. It really was very pretty. Long with white fur trim on the sleeves and winter hood. A beautiful color, too. An antique, somewhat faded red. Probably from the thickness of the fabric and the dye itself, but it was beautiful, nonetheless.

"There's some clothing being made for Fyodir, too." He mentioned, bouncing the infant on his lap. "You guys really didn't have much, did you?" Normally Edge would scold someone for not having the proper attire for themselves or their children, but knowing Faize's situation, it was likely he didn't leave his house often.

Faize, however, had already caught on, nodding softly. "I'm sorry..." because that really was all he could say. He didn't know what he was sorry for. Or maybe he was sorry for everything. He didn't quite know, nor understand the reasoning behind it himself, but it just felt like the right thing to say.

A little gurgle from Fyodir said everything was all right. And just like that, the subject was dropped.

The seamstress finished her work and let them go, promising to have the outfits finished and delivered in two days' time. Edge thanked her, paid her the amount owed (plus tip), and ushered his new family out of the shop. "We should head back and put that food away." Edge mentioned, motioning to the bucket of goats milk that would need to be put on ice to keep it from spoiling too quickly. What he wouldn't give for pasteurization process... or a canister of formula.

The Eldarian didn't seem to mind the loss of his technology all that much, having adapted well enough to this new way of life. On the outside, at last. Inside, he despised it as he did large insects, or being dirty. It was a constant nagging on the back of his mind that 'there is an easier way to do this', and it was driving him nuts.

Yet on the outside he was calm, collected, and very… distant. Even now, after Edge had come to him and spoiled him he was distant. But he did seem just a little brighter with his presence, and with the new coat. He wouldn't say it outright, but he loved it.

He followed Edge back home, through the snowbanks and the huge field, the patchy forest back to his house, a faint smile on his lips the whole time.

While Faize had not noticed, Edge was equally distant. His mind was wondering to the vicious rumors had heard in the village. Those people, without even knowing him, had judged Faize so harshly. It was maddening to think that they would think that the boy was anything less than a caring, if not a little over analytical, member of their society. He just had to know, "Hey, Faize?" Breaking the silence, Edge finally turned to Faize to ask the question that had been weighing on him since they first entered town. "Have the people of Woodley been giving you... trouble?"

It was a curious question that made Faize's thin brows knit, one rising slightly higher than the other. He turned his gaze to his companion to express such. "Trouble?" he queried, his tone suggesting he found the idea peculiar, even if he was being rather quiet and a little off. Then again, Faize was always off these days. Edge could only hope it wouldn't be permanent.

"...I heard some things in town." He muttered, his pace slowing just a bit, wanting to see Faize's expression. In turn, the boy slowed as well, the both soon grinding to a halt. Meanwhile Faize continued to stare at his once-lover, looking just a little more solemn now. Yet he was still trying his best to seem positive and unaware. "...Things?"

"I heard them whispering... Saying you were a cross-dresser or a demon, that you were bad luck and so was Fyo..." His fist clench, sea-green eyes unable to meet amethyst. It angered him to no end that he had to continue talking to them after the fact, but what choice did he have? He could not simply alienate the three of them because he couldn't hold his temper.

At first it seemed as though the boy felt the same. His eyes widened slightly with what could only be surprise. But then… they lowered, drifting away. His expression changed, becoming withdrawn, saddened, and a little hurt. He held the baby, who was staring up at him curiously now, a little tighter to his chest. There was a long silence, and for a moment Edge thought he'd hurt Faize with this previously unknown knowledge. But then—"Oh..." he spoke as if he were sighing, saddened yet… not. "I rarely… pay attention anymore."

So he knew... And had simply taken the verbal abuse. "Did you try to correct them? It's absurd they'd think such a thing about you... Especially when you helped save their town." They all did, and yet they would whisper such cruel things about a man who was barely existing at all at this point. Faize took his time answering, as if weighing the options, as though he were ashamed of the truth. Or not moved by it either way. "...No." he muttered, just barely loud enough for the man to hear.

"Why?" Edge took hold of his shoulders, staring him straight in the eyes. "You don't deserve that... Correct them! Defend yourself!" Do _something_ to show you care, that's all Edge wanted. He didn't want this indifference, the apathy that Faize had taken on since their departure. It hurt so badly to see him like this...

Faize refused to meet his gaze, hanging his head in both shame and defeat. He knew Edge was right, yet he just couldn't bring himself to tell his slanderers otherwise. He couldn't because, in his heart, he knew they were right about him. They had every reason to say those things. And regardless of misunderstandings between the two races or the awkward defects of gender some of the newer generations had gone through, Faize couldn't help but think that he differed from them all because of his actions.

And he felt strongly enough on it to voice it, albeit quietly. "…Because what they say is true..." Oh, how it hurt to admit it, to admit to what he himself had been thinking for so long.

Edge stared, floored by his words, yet somehow not surprised by them. His grip loosened, his expression becoming one of disbelief. "Do you... Really believe that? That you're bad luck... a demon?"

Once again, Faize nodded slowly, still refusing to meet Edge's eyes. Fyodir was beginning to fuss now, becoming upset about being in the cold so long. His mother slowly draped his blankets tighter around him, even pulled the new coat around the bundle as much as possible, trying to give him some comfort. All the while, he spoke to Edge, soft but with purpose, yet sounding like someone who had been broken inside.

"I have been all those things," he insisted, holding Fyodir as close as he could, resting his chin atop the baby's little head. "I brought nothing but misfortune to the mission. I brought death and tragedy. And then I became consumed with it, became something horrible..." He trailed off as the infant began to fuss and whine, threatening to cry. Suddenly protective over his child, Faize pulled away from Edge sharply, brushing past him, and continued the trek onwards towards home. The captain could have his argument later. For now, the safety of the baby far outweighed his once-lover's demands for closure and understanding.

He did not look back, nor did he call for him.

Edge allowed him his space, simply taking his time trekking back to the cottage. Once there, he put away the milk in the snow outside, making sure it was properly covered, then head in and began putting away the groceries.

They remained silent, Edge trying to think of what to say to Faize. It was then he realized that the closeness they shared before had now been replaced by distance he was unsure he could transverse... Not without a little help.

With Faize being less than willing to provide, he didn't get far. The boy seemed content not to continue the conversation started in the snowfield half a mile from home, but in taking care of his sleepy child. He focused his efforts on making Fyodir comfortable; feeding him, changing him, putting him to bed. His comfort was much more important than his own.

While as nice as it was to see Faize fall so easily into the role of parent, it was also a little alarming. The excitement and pride he took in everything he did was long gone, now in the past. The Faize Edge had once known and felt so deeply for had faded away seemingly overnight. He had been replaced by a nearly robotic individual that seemed to no longer live for the thrill of realizing dreams and bettering his people, but by instinct and drive to protect a forced responsibility, an accident neither had wanted.

It hurt to see. It really did.

Finally, after a long silence, Edge finally spoke. "You're not, you know." He said from his spot near the fire, having stopped there to warm his hands from the chill. "What they say... It's not true."

Sweet sentiment, Faize thought, and he graced his companion with a pained smile for it as he made his way from the bedroom to the main living area. He shut the door quietly behind him, not wanting Fyodir disturbed from his nap by their talking. That done, he moved to sit by the hearth, wanting a bit of warmth himself. Yet still he did not speak of the incident, of the whispers around the village. Did he really care so little about it?

Edge was not ready to drop this, not by a long shot. "Faize... Say something..." He scoot a little closer, his hand reaching for Faize's shoulder. "You used to be able to talk to me... What happened?" The claim itself was a long shot. After all, it was their inability to communicate that started their mutual downfall, but Edge was willing to go out on a limb to help his friend.

Faize, however was less than willing. But when Edge's hand touched his shoulder, cupping around the thin mound of bone and flesh, he felt such warmth from it, warmth that made his heart skip a beat. It was this warmth that made him look the blonde's way, eyes bright yet just a little sad. "I talk plenty to you," he insisted. "I'm just a little tired right now."

This was going nowhere, Edge could already see it. With a soft sigh he took the boy into his arms, holding him close as they both took in the heat of the flames. "Rest then. But I want to talk about this later, all right?" He insisted, but let it drop for now. It was no use forcing the conversation.

Faize took full advantage of this out, and Edge's kindness. He allowed himself to rest against the older man, relaxing with a little sigh, head tucked against his shoulder. "Thank you… for helping today..." he muttered, letting his eyes slip shut as he got comfortable. He was just so exhausted all of a sudden. That trip to Woodley had taken so much out of him.

"…I'm a little... a little tired just now..." The question was, why? He had no reason to be. Hell, before Edge and he had parted ways, Faize was in prime condition, strong as could be for a tiny little thing, and always energetic. But seeing him winded from just a couple miles walk wasn't just strange, it was scary. "You don't… mind if I sleep a little, do you?"

The boy didn't look well, Edge would admit. He sighed softly, running his fingers through Faize's hair to soothe him. "That's fine. Do you want to move to the bedroom?" He offered, "I'll carry you..."

"I'll be alright..." he replied, smiling ever so slightly. Strange as it was to have Edge with him again, he was thankful for the comfort. He allowed himself to rest completely against Edge, his head on his chest, hands resting on his own stomach. A curious action, but one that had become a bit of an unconscious habit for Faize since he'd been pregnant. One that wasn't going away any time soon.

He stayed just like that, enjoying the warmth from both Edge and the fire in the hearth. Eventually his breathing slowed, deepened, his body relaxing completely as he fell into a light sleep.

They remained there for some time, Edge lost in thought as he stared into the flames of the hearth. He had thought coming here would be the solution they needed, that Faize would perk up and be back to his old self... No, that was a boy's dream, that. He could only continue to work with the damaged man and hope that someday, somehow, he'd get the old Faize back.

But to wish for that boy back wasn't logical, was it? Faize had been naïve, pure in mind and body, and a bit of him remained that way. Now he was sullied by the cruelty and selfishness of the world around him, and though their universe was at peace again, Faize was still in turmoil. Edge wished he could help him come to terms with the events that happened the year before, but he knew it was going to take some time...

"Faize..." He muttered, reaching for the quilt on the chair to drape over them both, "It will get better... Just hang in there."

The sun rose further in the sky as the two shared an afternoon nap, taking a much needed rest.

* * *

End Chapter 2. Hopefully I'll e able to get the next chapter out soon. Sorry this was was a it short. The other will be longer.


	3. Chapter 3: Fever

Finally updating. We do apologize for the delay. Finals were a killer this mod.

Please enjoy the new chapter. ALso, be aware there will be angst/Faize's issues for the next few chapters.

Thank you and R&R as always.

- The Writers

* * *

Over the next few days the three of them settled into a routine; in the morning Faize would wake up early to prepare their first meal, heating up milk for Fyodir while the two rested a while longer. Edge would wake next, help dress the infant, and leave him in his mother's care as he ran errands for the people of Woodley, collecting odds and ends for potions and delivering goods. Just like the old times, and it was peaceful.

But it was not without a good amount of worry; Faize, as much as he tried to hide it, his health was declining. On the morning of the fourth day, Edge woke first, noting the boy was warm to the touch.

"..Mn…Edge?" the Eldarian called drowsily, slowly pushing himself up to sit. Poor thing looked exhausted, like he'd hardly gotten any sleep at all. Or maybe it was just the cute expression that he got when he was woken not of his own accord. His hair was a mess, a few of the somewhat shorter pieces trying to stick up, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were hazy. For an early riser, Faize had never been incredibly good at waking up, Edge remembered. But he couldn't shake the idea that he looked worse for wear.

The blonde sat back down on the bed, reaching to pat his hair back into place. "Hey, sorry, did I wake you?" He asked quiet, gently petting his hair, indulging himself just a little in its smooth texture.

Faize couldn't help but smile somewhat at the touch, taking some joy in it. It was answer enough; that he had but the boy didn't mind one bit. It didn't last. Fyodir woke with a squirm and a whine, and the small Eldarian instantly went into work-mode. The baby was taken into his arms, Faize sliding from the bed and out to the main room to start his whole routine over again. Like auto-pilot. It was aggravating.

Edge followed, looking to see where he could be of use. He started with taking Fyodir from Faize's arms and off to get changed and dressed while his mother fixed breakfast. All the while Edge did his best to keep an eye on Faize, his concern peaking.

The Eldarian allowed it, silently thankful for the help. He went about cooking up a bit of porridge for the both of them, heating milk for Fyodir on the side. At least he was easy to feed. Easy to please as well, for whenever Edge had the infant in his arms he was always giggling and smiling. Perhaps he was making up for lost time? Who knew.

Today was just the same as any other in which Fyo was more than happy to babble and smile up at his father, demand his attention and gum his fingers. The Eldarian watched it all as he cooked, taking both joy and comfort in it. He was still very much trying to wrap his head around the fact that Edge was back in his life, was on Lemuris with him and having the time of his life playing with his son. He'd never have imagined it possible, but it really was helping him to see it. It eased the pain of memories past, just a little.

"Hey, Faize, is breakfast ready?" Edge piped up from his spot in the corner, bouncing Fyodir on his knee as he excitedly babbled up at his parents. "This little one is getting a little bitey." Broken from his thoughts, Faize looked over to his companions briefly, nodding once. "Yes, I'm nearly done." It wasn't long before the food was ready to be served (the porridge was slightly burnt thanks to Faize's spacing). Fyodir was fed first, the boy readying his bottle and handing it to Edge to feed the child.

Days before Faize had all but insisted that he be the one to feed the infant. In all honesty, he'd had a tendency not to let him out of his arms, which meant Edge almost never got to hold him. Faize was protective, after all, and that defensive nature of his was extended to his child. But after having a little time to get used to the idea, Faize was more open in letting go every now and then and letting Fyodir's father have a bit of responsibility every now and then. Case in point, being permitted to feed him without the Eldarian even attempting to take the baby from him. It was a small step, a tiny show of trust, but it was almost a leap of progress.

And it made Edge happy. That was a plus.

Faize served their breakfast once Fyodir was finished with his, looking very pleased with himself indeed. For such a young baby, he truly had a good bit of personality already.

Edge ate his meal gratefully, not caring if it was a little singed. It was made by Faize, so he'd eat it graciously without complaint. "What are your plans for today?" He asked quietly, finishing off his bowl, Fyodir still cuddling up to him. The child had taken to Edge quite well, and his father was keen on keeping the boy close to him. Besides, it gave Faize a break.

"I'm not really sure," Faize replied from his seat by the fire, his own bowl in his lap. He sipped at it occasionally, not having Edge's vigor for the meal at the moment. He really didn't seem to be enjoying it at all, only eating it out of obligation. "You've already finished all the work I've had here for quite some time." The statement was spoken with a bit of a sheepish smile, the boy somewhat embarrassed. And Edge was even taking such good care of Fyodir. He really had nothing to do.

"Some crafting, maybe? Or maybe some writing?" Anything to keep Faize inside and possibly in bed. Edge was doing his best not to be direct in saying the man should be resting more than anything else. "I can take Fyodir out if you'd like some time to work on things." Fyodir giggled at the suggestion, as if he was aware of what they were saying. Was that even possible?

Faize shook his head softly at the ideas, setting his half eaten food aside. "No, there must be something to be done." Cleaning, maybe? Probably. The place was getting rather run down, now that he thought about it. And there was the matter of the clothing Edge had commissioned for him. Though they had been delivered they had yet to be put away. Silently the Eldarian scolded himself for letting himself put things like that off.

So, without a word he began picking up here and there. Soon his effort to tidy up became a full on project to clean up. Once he'd noticed how dusty he'd let the little home become, it was all over. No matter what Edge did to coax him to taking it easy, Faize would not relent, saying the dust was bad for the baby.

Edge really couldn't win. As much as he wanted Faize to calm down and take a breather throughout the day, he insisted on cleaning the cottage from top to bottom, even going so far as to try and clean out the iron kettle, to which Edge suggested he leave it for a warmer day so he could scrub it outside. Faize complied since Edge's logic was sound, but otherwise continued to force himself into business throughout the entire day on into evening.

It was only when Fyodir began to complain about supper that the Eldarian forgot his work in favor of caring for the child. And realizing what time it must have been, Faize decided to prepare dinner for himself and Edge as well.

So there he was, idly stirring a pot of stew over the fire, trying so hard not to drift off into unconsciousness.

A hand clapped onto his shoulder, steadying him as he teetered just a little too close to the stove while he stirred their dinner. "Faize, maybe you should take a rest…" Edge muttered, leaning close to his ear, whispering so Fyodir wouldn't hear.

Jolted from his near-sleep, Faize's head shot up to look at his companion. When had Edge gotten so close? He'd really dozed off there a moment, hadn't he? Yet he refused to admit to it, the knowledge that his child and friend needed to eat, that he had to finish cleaning up firmly implanted in his mind. And with that, he shook his head insistently. "No, I'll be fine. I have to finish dinner."

"Faize, you just about fell into the pot." Edge quipped, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, his free hand grasping the handle of the spoon. "I can finish dinner. You go take a nap." The last thing they both needed was for Faize to collapse from exhaustion, which seemed to be looming on the horizon.

But still he refused, insisted he was fine. He didn't need a nap. He could sleep when it was time for bed. But all these arguments were falling flat. He knew damn well he was exhausted, still sick since before Edge had even showed up on his doorstep. He was just being stubborn, just like before. It wasn't getting him anywhere. But he had to prove himself, both to him and to Edge. After all, if Edge wasn't there, who would care for Fyodir?

Fed up by the stubborn act, Edge took the spoon from him and lifted Faize into his arms as if he were a bride to be carried over the threshold. "I didn't want to have to do this, but looks like I'll have to use force." He was far too light, Edge noted. This just proved that Faize had lost a significant amount of weight since they parted ways. It was worrisome, for sure, but Edge reminded himself that was why he was here; to make Faize better.

He didn't exactly go willingly. He literally went both kicking and nagging, doing his damnedest to get out of Edge's arms. It didn't work out all that well for him, but at least it proved while he had lost quite a bit of weight and muscle, he still had the will to put up a fight if he wanted to, ill or not.

"Edge, let me down!" he exclaimed, shoving at his chest and kicking his legs out. He didn't seem to care that if he kept on he'd be dropped to the wooden floor. He was just so flustered that Edge had actually had the gall to use force when all he'd wanted to do was provide for their child.

"No can do, Faize. You've been pushing yourself for too long. What's Fyo gonna do if you collapse while I'm out at work?" He had a sound argument, even if Faize wasn't willing to admit it. The blonde carried his Eldarian companion into the bedroom, setting him atop the blankets without further ado.

Immediately Faize tried to sit up, to bolt past the man and get back to making dinner. He was caught in seconds and redeposited on the bed. After that he didn't try to run again, acknowledging that Edge was indeed much stronger than him, more so now. He wasn't going anywhere. His only retaliation after that was a sound glare, aimed the blonde's way.

A little kiss was planted against his warm forehead, Edge patting his hair back into place with a soft smile. "I'll finish dinner and take care of Fyodir… You rest, okay? You really don't look well." The poor thing was ashen, his face flushed and blotchy, and the bags under his eyes just made it worse. "Please?"

The way Edge was looking at him made him relent. Even after all this time, those eyes could sway him, cut into the deepest part of him and take hold of his heart. With a soft sigh and flustered nerves, he agreed. "Fine.."

Faize slowly moved to lay down, still feeling very guilty over taking this out Edge had provided to shove off his parental duties. On the other hand, he felt like hell. "Call me if he needs me," the Eldarian insisted, eyes locked with Edge's as he lowered himself to the bed.

"We'll manage." Edge insisted, pulling the quilt up over Faize, tucking him in. If he could captain a ship, he could certainly handle taking care of an infant for an afternoon. Besides, he and Fyodir needed more bonding time. "Would you like me to bring you dinner?"

The small Eldarian nodded slowly, allowing himself to relax as he lay down, getting comfortable. "If you would, please.." He gave Edge one final weak smile, laced with both a silent thanks and warmth, before his eyes slipped shut.

He fell asleep just like that, slipping off into an exhausted slumber, secure in the knowledge that Fyodir was safe and taken care of.

With Faize safely tucked in bed, Edge returned to the pot of stew to finish up. He glanced to Fyodir, who seemed to have discovered his toes while he was making his mother comfortable, grinned up at him when he approached. The child made a happy giggle and Edge could not quell the urge to lift him into his arms. "Hey, buddy. You wanna help make dinner?"

"Bwuh!" Fyodir answered, as if an affirmative. Edge snickered, "All right. We'll make a nice dinner for your mom while he rests." The child wriggled and cuddled close to his father while he finished working. Such a cute scene, the picture of the ideal father and son. To think it may have never happened at all. If Edge had not come to Faize's aid, Fyodir may have lived his entire life not knowing his father, not having the touch of the man that helped give him life. It was sad to think of… But now Edge was here, holding his first born son, and all was well in the world.

When next Faize woke it was to sunlight shining on his face. The boy groaned and tried to burying himself further into the covers, his face smooshed into the pillows. He lay there a good few moments, slowly coming back into the land of the living. It was about then that he realized something was off.

He sat up quickly, looking about with arms propping him up. It was daytime? It certainly hadn't been when he'd gone to bed. And the sun was far overhead now, telling him it was way past noon. He found himself frowning, somewhat upset that Edge hadn't kept his promise to wake him for dinner. But that wasn't all..

He couldn't hear Edge in the house. And he couldn't hear his child. Suddenly worried, Faize eased himself out of bed, bringing one of the blankets with him as he moved towards the bedroom door. He opened it, peeking out into the main room. It was completely silent, and devoid of any signs of life. A mild panic spread through the Eldarian. Where was Fyodir? He called out to Edge with no reply. He rushed to the front door, tugging it open and calling again.

Nothing. Only the crisp silence of winter outside and through the sparse forest around the house. But thankfully there was a sign that calmed Faize a good deal, and it came in the form of fresh tracks, about the Earthling's shoe size he guessed, heading from the house and into the direction of Woodly. Well, at least he knew that Edge had gone off to preform his usual routine. But why take Fyodir out into the cold? With a small huff and a light frown, Faize went back inside to rest some more. He would deal with Edge when he returned.

An hour later the man returned, the infant wrapped snuggling in his shawl, warm as could be, babbling to his father as he waltzed through the front door. "Home, sweet home, Fyo!" He announced, steadying the shawl with one arm as he toed his boots off at the door. He stopped dead in his tracks when he spot Faize standing near the stove, arms crossed and expression crosser. Oh, he was in trouble.

"H-hey, Faize…" he chuckled nervously, unwrapping Fyodir from the shawl so he could hold him securely in his arms. "Fyodir and I were just out making deliveries…" He hoped Faize didn't get upset over that; there was no danger and if he needed to head into a battle to get a supply he would leave Fyodir with Lymle. But today it was just odds and ends for recipes, nothing more. "We wanted to let you rest…"

If looks could kill, Edge would be dead in his tracks. When the boy did get upset, he really was a force to be reckoned with. And that glowing thing his eyes tended to do was right scary.

Actually, they were kind of doing that right now…

Wordlessly, Faize came forward, taking the child from Edge's arms, and held him tightly to his chest, his head resting atop the baby's. For those few, fleeting moments, he completely ignored the man, focused only on the fact that Fyodir was back in his arms. It was moments like this that Edge could see just how protective Faize was over him, and how much he'd worried him by taking him without saying a word.

Then finally the boy looked up at him, calmer now, his expression that of relief. "You said you would bring me dinner."

Edge let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled, "Sorry," he began, "You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't want to wake you." He stepped closer and kissed Faize's forehead, noting it was not as warm as before. Good, that was an improvement. Edge dug into his pack and presented Faize with a bag of coin and some fresh fish. "I brought lunch?" He offered, hoping to placate the boy and prevent any latent outbursts.

A promise of lunch didn't save him from a harsh frown, but punishing Edge was the least of the Eldarian's concerns. He allowed the man peace for now, busying himself by warming the infant and feeding him. Edge was left to cook lunch for the two of them.

He did so gladly, using a skillet over the fire to grill up the fish, leaving the vegetables to boil in a smaller pot. He was sure to keep the room nice and warm for the three of them, and keep his eyes on Faize while he worked. "Did you sleep well?" Asked Edge, using some herbs he got in a trade with the lady at the general store on the fish for some extra flavor.

Faize looked up from his place at the table, Fyodir tucked in his lap and enjoying his dinner, greedily suckling his bottle with hands grasping it tight. The small Eldarian couldn't help but smile at his antics, glad to have his child back in his arms. "I slept too well, I think," he commented, tugging the bottle from Fyodir momentarily when he coughed, having drank too fast. He must have been famished. Faize pulled him to his chest, patting his little back until he stopped coughing, then offered the bottle again. It was instantly taken, the Eldarian giving an exasperated sigh. "Seems you tuckered Fyodir out. What did the villagers have you doing today?"

"We were collecting items for the general. Nothing too strenuous, just around town." Edge scooped the fish fillets from the skillet and began putting them on the wooden plates Faize had stowed away. Next was the vegetables, garnished with a bit of herb before being served before the Eldarian. "We had fun, though. I was showing him different berries and plants." Edge took a seat across from him using the tin pitcher to pour himself a drink of water, then fill Faize's glass.

Hearing all of this, the Eldarian's mood became a little brighter, expression softening as he looked Edge's way. So he'd been worried for nothing…He smiled gently at the baby in his arms, enjoying his time with him as he fed the curious little boy. Fyodir seemed to be in good spirits today, as well, being more energetic than he had been in a very long time.

Once he'd finished feeding, he pushed the bottle away, and began to squirm. What was he doing? Instantly Faize took on a concerned look, and cuddled the fussing baby to him. But still, he wouldn't relax. What was his problem? Food forgotten, the Eldarian turned to his once-lover for help.

Edge reached for the child, who immediately squirmed towards his hands once they were close. He took the child into his arms and cuddled him, little fists balling up in his shirt. "Hey now, don't be like that. Your mom didn't get to hold you all day…" The Earthling chided, giving him a little kiss atop the head.

Said mom didn't seem to mind all that much. Sure, he felt a little put down, but Fyodir was bonding with his father. That in itself was much more important than clinging to his mother the whole time, and for it, Faize smiled warmly. "It's fine," he assured. "I think he just wants to get to know you more."

The father smiled, cuddling the child in one arm as he dug into his meal. The fish was a little over spiced, but it was better than being bland in his opinion. Garlic and basil. Not bad. "We'll have to go on more adventures together then, won't we, Fyo?"

"Bwee!" The child let a happy little noise, chewing on Edge's shirt, which would likely have to be laundered later. Edge didn't seem to mind, though. He just looked… Content. A warm smile on his face, a good meal in his belly, and the presence of the person he had been longing to see for over a year now. "When you're feeling better, let's all go on an adventure, all right, Faize?" Green eyes looked into Amethyst, hoping for a positive reaction.

What he got was a tired gaze of a rundown person, but it was hopeful nevertheless. Faize had always been a positive individual. He was trying to be that way again. Trying damn hard, too. "Yes, we'll go on more adventures together," he promised. He really hoped so, too. And with that, he finally turned his attentions to the lovingly prepared food Edge had laid out for him. It was true; the fish was overly spiced, but it was welcome. Faize didn't look like he'd had a good meal in months.

And to be honest, he really hadn't. Just the few times Lymle and Lutea had cooked for him when he'd spent time in Woodly.

The three enjoyed a quiet dinner, the only sound the clatter of cutlery and the crackle of the fire in the hearth. Every now and then Edge would glance up to Faize to make sure he was still eating. The boy had lost far too much weight since his time on Calnus, and Edge had made it his personal mission to nurse him back to health… Even if it meant making him eat a little more.

Once they were done, Edge took it upon himself to do the dishes, handing Fyodir back to his mother so he could do so with both hands. Of course Faize protested, but Edge would not hear any of it. In the end the boy was shooed back to the bedroom to cuddle with his son and keep warm beneath the blankets.

Though he fought him on it, Faize knew Edge only meant for his well being. So he couldn't very well refuse. Eventually he accepted the man's brotherly overloarding, and settled down in bed for an early evening rest. But he did make one request as he got settled in bed. "Edge?" he called, cuddling his child against his chest. "Will you…come lay down with me?" The way he said it made him sound so shy, no longer having the budding confidence he once had.

Such a request… Edge could not deny it even if he wanted to. The chores could wait, he decided, and the blonde went to lay with his companion. Snuggled up beneath the blankets with Fyodir tucked between them, he spoke, "Did you take the medicine that Lutea and Lymle gave you?" So he knew… Edge was far more intuitive than people gave him credit for, or at least more than he was before.

And Faize was beginning to wonder if it was a blessing or a curse. With a discontented look and a small sigh, he shook his head. "No, I haven't. I just got so busy with Fyodir.." That, and Edge had been around to see him take it. He really hadn't wanted Edge to know about it, or just how sick he'd been. But as usual, things just didn't go his way.

"You'd feel better if you did…" Edge lifted a hand to brush the sweaty bits of hair from his face, smiling tiredly himself. He had spent most the day doing mindless fetch requests in town, and now he was feeling just a bit worn. "There's no shame in that."

Edge was right, of course. He had to start accepting help more readily. He had to get over this desperate need to look stronger than he was, especially in the eyes of Edge. His pride was already making him worse, and causing the man to worry. It just wasn't worth it in the end.

With a little nod, he agreed to it. "Please boil some up, then…won't you?" His tone was that of a Faize thought once long gone, innocent and somewhat wanton. His expression was worn, eyes fever-bright and asking, aimed the Earthling's way. With eyes like those on him, how could he refuse?

Edge was finding more and more that he could not deny Faize anything with those eyes on him. He immediately left their small bedroom to boil some water over the fire, deciding to finish the dishes while he waited.

Soon a pot of medicinal tea was brought in, a cup already poured and extended to Faize. "Drink it all." Edge chided, offering a bit of bread to go with if only to wash down the bitter and somewhat foul smelling beverage.

Another reason why Faize had avoided drinking it, obviously. But when it was presented by Edge, he changed his tune, accepting it hesitantly but graciously. "Thank you," the boy said softly, and sat up to sip at the tea slowly. Almost immediately he made a face, a shiver going through him. It would seem the liquid tasted about as bad as it smelled.

Edge could not withhold the little chuckle that escaped his lips, quickly switching the now empty tea cup with one filled with fresh water to wash the flavor down. "It'll be worth it, I'm sure." Said he, taking a seat next to the Eldarian, adjusting the blankets over his pale form.

Faize accepted the water gratefully, drinking it down with haste. A deep sigh escaped him as he pulled the cup from his lips, and immediately he was handing it back to the blonde with eyes that said he wanted more. "You say that, but you aren't the one that has to drink it." His complaint was playful, teasing, only semi-serious. Though he gave Edge a tired look of displeasure, there was thanks in his eyes.

With a tender smile, Edge gently ran his hand across Faize's bangs before resting the palm on his pale forehead. Still a tad feverish, but better than before; progress at last.

"Feeling any better?" He asked tentatively, wondering if it would be wise to bring Fyodir in to join the cuddle, or if it was better to keep them separated for now so he would not become ill was well.

Though how the child hadn't become ill like his mother was anyone's guess. "A little better, yes.." The Eldarian shifted a little, just enough to make room for another. "Edge?" he asked, gazing up at him with fever bright eyes. "Bring me more water and come to bed." Faize was…telling him to do something? It was like the floodgates of hell had opened. "It's been…way too long."

There had been worse Hells, Edge decided.

With a nod he obliged the Eldarian, heading to the kitchen to acquire a drink… But not before checking to see how Fyodir was doing. The child was still napping peacefully, curled up with a slight smile on his lips, a look that reminded Edge of the child's mother. It made his mood improve all the more as he retrieved the glass of water and returned to Faize's side, setting the cup down on the nighstand before pulling the blankets back to allow himself a place to rest.

"Do you want more blankets?" Asked Edge as he adjusted the pillow on his side of Faize's bed. His side, he liked how that sounded.

Better yet, he was welcomed with open arms. Well, more like welcomed by the Eldarian moving over so Edge could get in and have room enough to be comfortable. It wasn't a large bed, but they could manage two in it. "This is fine for now," Faize replied once they were both settled. He turned over on his side to face the blonde, arm tucked under his pillow.

This was nice, he thought with a smile. Very nice. Warm, cozy, and finally, not lonely. He hated being lonely. It was the worst feeling in the world. "I'm just glad you're here."

It was as close to a reciprocation of intimacy as Edge could hope for at this point and time. Edge lay on his side, gazing at his once-lover, taking in the sight of his calm face, his pale pink lips curled into a content grin, the way his lashes fluttered as his eyelids drooped in drowsiness. He had truly missed this.

"We could stay together, you know…" The suggestion escaped his mouth before he had time to think on the details, but the prospect was tempting none the less. "You, Fyodir, and me…"

Stay together? What a beautiful idea. Just the three of them, here on Lemuris, raising their son together. Such thoughts made his chest tight and his heart flutter. It seemed a dream, far away and hopeless to achieve. "Don't say things like that," came the younger's tired voice. He eyes fluttered closed as Faize shifted a little closer, buried himself a little deeper into the pillows. "It makes me think that I'm dreaming…that none of this is real."

And that, he was certain, would be the worst hell imaginable. If someday he woke to find all this was something he'd conjured up, something his sad and fever addled mind had born, he'd lose all sense of himself. He'd give up completely.

Tired eyes opened, stained with the darkness of sleepless nights, resting warmly on the blonde before them. "Instead, will you tell me what you've been up to?" His voice was quiet, listless. The medicine was beginning to work its magic. "You haven't really said anything since you arrived."

Such sorrowful words… Did Faize really think this a dream? That Edge would not want to care for him after what had happened on Nox Obscurus? There was so much that he could say to that, so little he had to explain his actions, but in the end he found that any explanation that he could give would be insufficient. Now was not the time nor the place, with Faize laying prone on the sheets, face flush with fever and drifting off from exhaustion.

For now, he would simply oblige him, follow the topic suggestion. "Well, I'm still a captain… Though not of Calnus." He began, propping himself up with his elbow, "Reimi and I transport supplies to and from Aeos and the outlying bases." It wasn't nearly as glamorous as his previous mission, but it kept him in space, kept him from rotting on the ground pushing paper.

The exhausted Eldarian listened intently, drifting in an out of sleep. How he'd missed the sound of Edge's voice, how soothing it could be. He was glad to have the privilege of listening to it again. "A courier?" he asked, just a little listless. But he fought sleep, fought it hard, for he wanted this time to speak with the captain, now that he'd forced the boy to settle down a moment. And somehow the news of Edge's current position upset him just a little.

The blonde had become something so great before, a man to be held in the utmost respects. And hearing he was just a courier… To Faize, this was not only a blow to his fond memories of the past journey, and even the not so fond ones. Edge was a strong and devoted man that deserved to be captain of the entirety of Earths exploration and recon forces. To be anything less was an insult, one the Eldarian himself was personally offended by.

Yet he would say none of this out loud. "How did that come about?"

Edge sighed, almost wistfully. "After… All that happened, I took a different position." His fingers idly played with the thin fabric of the sheets, twisting and twirling it, enjoying the texture against his palm, wishing it was Faize's hair and not a swatch of cotton. "The SRF was abolished, but Aeos hasn't been abandoned. They needed someone capable to transport supplies between the bases, so we could rebuild." His eyes darkened ever so slightly, the cloth resting between his middle and forefinger, "Besides, I… Really didn't want any recognition." Confessed Edge, averting his gaze, as if he was ashamed of this confession.

His words affected Faize less than Edge's shame did, for it was his tone, his worried eyes that brought the Eldarian back to a full state of consciousness. He stared at him a long moment, trying his hardest to process this new information. Edge didn't want recognition for his efforts? How? And why? Who wouldn't want at least some kind of praise for a job well done? He had saved everyone, saved the whole universe from something terrible. And now he was happier being put on the back burner? For what reason? Because it was safe? Or something else?

Faize's stare became less confused and more questioning, his eyes welcoming, soft, as if attempting to will Edge into elaborating with a gaze alone. Ah, but he didn't have the heart in it to go the whole way. Eventually he spoke up, a gentle hand reaching for the blonde's. It took Edge by surprise; enough, at least, to meet his gaze. This was the first time Faize had reached for him, had touched him, since the incident. "…But…Why?" the alien boy asked, sounding truly lost. "After all the good you did.. Would you not at least want acknowledgement? You're a hero, Edge." The way he said it, voice clearly tired and sounding far too innocent, almost desperate; Faize never changed, did he? Not really.

It was almost heartbreaking, the way he sound, the light touch of his cool fingers against Edge's skin, the desperate look in his eyes. There was no easy way to explain his reasoning to Faize. "…I don't want recognition, not anymore." He pursed his lips, fingers wrapping around Faize's, "I don't want to be known for the worst of my shortcomings… The one that got my two best friends killed."

So that was why; Edge didn't want to be reminded every day that he was a hero for ignoring his comrade's needs, the obvious signs of his emotional trauma, and letting him run off to a battle he couldn't win and fall to the enemy's wiles. He didn't want to be remembered for how he lacked the ability to fight for his people, and how his best friend, whom had always outranked him, managed to do it for him, even though it cost him his life. He didn't want to be reminded how he faced someone he loved in a battle to the death, how his ignorance had aided him in his spiral downward into despair, driving him to the ledge and pushing him off it… And how because he was too weak to stand after all was said and done, that he watched someone he once called a lover fall into an abyss, completely undone, letting himself drop so Edge could be saved.

Too painful, too cruel, Edge would rather be stuck on the backburner forever, doing menial tasks if only it meant he didn't have to live with the memory more vividly than he did now.

Faize himself understood this, truly did. He just couldn't accept it for the life of him. Eyes lowered once more, rested on their joined hands, his resting over the blonde's. Somehow it meant so much to him, seeing Edge's hand in his again. He's missed this, needed it so much. Thinned fingers gripped the hand gentle, just enough to let him know he was there.

"That isn't fair.." And that was all he would voice on it. He couldn't tell him how he felt, how it hurt him to know his stupidity had ruined Edge's promising future not once, but so many times. He couldn't say how he wished everything was different, that he had remained with him, fought by his side until the end, and perhaps stayed after. He couldn't tell him how many times he'd cried alone thinking of what he had done, that he was a failure, that he'd always needed him.

The medicine in his system began fully to wash over his senses and he let it drag him down this time, lulling him to sleep. His consciousness faded with the knowledge that the man he'd needed was there with him, still there with him, his hand in his.


End file.
